the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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