So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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