And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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