i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
