The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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