then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
