Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
