Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My nipple is on Facebook.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so let's talk penis.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize