i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my liver is dry heaving
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
