You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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