I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
