she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
