a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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