You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
