so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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