it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You were trust falling into bushes
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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