sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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