i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
