You're a womanizer and a bitch.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize