How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
