I'm going to jail i love you
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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