Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize