Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
