Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
