hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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