i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
