we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
