did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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