Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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