Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
