So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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