before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
