..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.