I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard