i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover