By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
