hotel room ftw
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
