At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
