Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
