I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
