goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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