I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
