Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
