sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
