just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
