Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
