Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
