Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
