I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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