she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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