My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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