so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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