Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
