Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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