I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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