i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
