at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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