would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
