WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks