i would punch a child for taco bell
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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