So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
