i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.