Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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