Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I need moral support for this bender
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
